I often get asked questions about my past, my gift, how long I have known I could speak with Spirit, etc., so I thought I would address all of that here. 🙂
In the beginning..
Did I actually KNOW that I could communicate with Spirit when I was very young? No. I knew I could hear things, see things and feel things, but I had no clue what was happening. All I knew was that I would feel sick to my stomach a lot every time I went out into public. In hindsight, I now know that was the empathic part of myself coming through. Feeling all of the energy around me would give me crippling panic attacks, even when I was very, very young. I know it aggravated the sh*t out of my parents because they felt they couldn’t go anywhere with me. As I got old enough, they just began leaving me at home. Honestly, I don’t blame them one little bit. It saved them the hassle and it saved me from having a complete freak out. Malls sucked, restaurants sucked, school sucked. It all sucked. Without fully realizing the root cause, I was put on all sorts of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds. Did they help? Eh. They just left me feeling, for lack of a better word, numb. I also had a fascination with death and dying, but not a clue why. I thought it was the depression/anxiety talking. Little did I know there was a much more interesting explanation for it.
Fast forward several years..
I had been hearing “voices” clearly for most of my adult life. Nothing negative or bad, just directing me or giving me guidance. The words I would hear would give me information that there is no way I would have otherwise known. I chalked it up to coincidence when the messages turned out to be true and accurate. My interest in death was still very much there, despite not being on any more medication.
One day at a dance competition, I was talking with another dance mom and the studio owner. Somehow the conversation turned to ghosts, spirits, etc. and the owner told me about her neighbor that was a medium. I immediately asked for her number, which was gladly given to me. I immediately made an appointment for the next week, and I dragged the other dance mom with me. I was awe struck by what this woman was telling me! So much detail! All I kept thinking was that this was quite possibly the coolest thing I had ever seen! I left her home almost floating on air. I knew I had to go back and see her again. I was in a miserable marriage and I needed more information from her. I wanted and needed guidance on what to do. During my second appointment, she told me everything I needed to hear. As I was leaving her home again, she said to me, “you know you can do this, too, don’t you?” Huh? I thought she was kidding. She wanted me to come back so she could work with me. I have to be honest….the thought of me being able to talk to spirits scared the crap out of me! I wanted to know more, but I needed to get over the disbelief first. Then, one day, it happened. I was home alone and on the bed crying. I knew my marriage was doomed, but I didn’t want to admit it. In the midst of my boo-hooing, I felt the bed sink down like someone had sat on it right behind me. I immediately stopped crying and listened hard, too afraid to turn around. I felt someone gently stroke my arm and then I smelled my grandmother’s perfume. I bolted from the bed and ran downstairs, never looking back. I was so afraid that I didn’t sleep in my room for 2 months!
I went back to the medium’s house numerous times after that, learning all I could from her. She taught me how to listen, how to protect myself, and how NOT to be afraid. This woman spent literally hours with me, answering every question I had and explaining everything to me until I understood completely. She tested me and had me do readings on her. My stars, this woman has the patience of a saint and probably one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met.
I am proud, honored and blessed to say that I am a psychic medium. I now talk to souls that have transitioned as well as angel and guides to make my living. I find the work I do very healing and very, very beautiful. Not only have I accepted my gift, but I treasure it and keep it close to my heart. I have met some amazing people since my journey began and I couldn’t be more grateful…..clients and colleagues alike. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would be here, I would tell you not a chance. I am living a dream come true! And I am finally learning to protect myself when I go out so that I’m not absorbing everyone’s energies. I can’t tell you what huge relief that is! So, without the drugs and anything else I am controlling the anxiety and panic attacks. Once in a blue moon, when I’m not mindful and I forget to shield myself one or two will creep in, but no where near what it was! Life is truly good, folks! Life is good! 🙂